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Path: tivoli.tivoli.com!geraldo.cc.utexas.edu!cs.utexas.edu!uwm.edu!omnifest.uwm.edu!omnifest.uwm.edu!not-for-mail
From: mark@omnifest.uwm.edu (Mark Hopkins)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: The Awakening 1
Date: 6 Feb 1995 08:52:30 -0600
Organization: Omnifest
Lines: 286
Distribution: na
Message-ID: <3h5d3e$8k9@omnifest.uwm.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.70.58
Xref: tivoli.tivoli.com alt.startrek.creative:5708
"Captain's Log, stardate uh ... does someone have the stardate around
here??!"
"45024.5, sir.", Counselor Troi cuts in.
"Well, well, what have we there? A nude chronometer!", Worf suddenly turns
a ruby shade of brown. The Captain goes on, "and who is that naked Klingon
being depicted there -- Worf!", he asks as Troi puts the device back, "Is
there something you two haven't been telling us?"
"Um...", Worf starts.
"No. This just helps keep me from being late for my appointments.", the
Counselor broke in.
"Captain's Log, Stardate 45024.5. We are engaged in a mission to explore
Mars. Despite nearly 400 years of trying and 594 consecutive failed probes
we still don't know what the hell Mars looks like nor whether that 'Face' is
really a face or not. Ever since we've been sending out probes they've kept
getting destroyed or disappearing never to be heard or seen from again. The
first three or four times only seemed like a coincidence, but after four
centuries of failed missions we begin to suspect something is amiss."
---------------------------------
In the darkness of the bar and the comfortably loud sultry saxophone
music, one can only communicate by touch and feel. And so it was that
commander Riker and an unknown female patron were involved in a deeply
intimate conversation enhanced by the tinge of the disarming beverages.
Before he had a chance to formulate a suitable answer to her enticing
query, the music inexplicably stopped and the woman disappeared. All
that was left was the featureless grid of the Holodeck interior.
"Damn Holodeck is on the fritz again. Computer!"
(begaggle)
"What happened to the bar scenery?"
"WHAT SCENERY? I DON'T SEE ANY SCENERY!"
Completely suprised by the yelling and the unexpectedly screechy high
pitched male voice, RIker rubs his ears.
"What is wrong with you??!"
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME??! THE GUY SPENDS HIS OFF HOURS FEELING UP
IMAGINARY WOMEN AND HE ASKS WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!"
Suddenly a voice breaks through the yelling. "Commander, Riker.
Please come to the bridge."
Riker leaves the holodeck in complete puzzlement. As the door closed
behind Riker, the holodeck inexplicably lights back up and the image of the
bar returned for a brief while.
---------------------------------
As he was walking down the starship corridor, Data could hear a continual
banging and scratching sound getting louder and louder as he approached its
point of origin. He also noticed that the walls started turning a shade of
red and of a strange consistency. Noting the odd occurrence, he mumbled his
typical "hmm", continued on his way till he reached a side-corridor at which
point the sound became distinctly louder. Looking down it, he saw a strange
man, wearing an old fedora and trench coat, hammering away at what looked like
a lump of metal, moulded in the rough form of a human face.
As the android approached the figure, he became curious about his actions.
"May I ask who you are and what that is you are making?"
The man turned around to face Data, the android was shocked at the craggy
appearance of his face, but intrigued by the strong resemblance to Dr. Soong.
But this man was no cyberneticist. After releasing his tool he opened up his
hand to reveal long metallic talon-like nails emanating from his fingers.
"It's me, Data. I'm your worst nightmare come true! BWAA HAA HAA HAA!"
At that Data woke up in complete shock, convulsing uncontrollably from ...
what's this? An emotion? Yes, fear!
---------------------------------
"Whoa! Watch where you turn your head. I almost got knocked over by
your hat.".
Guinan blushes a darker shade of brown, "Oops, sorry there Fred."
Ten-forward was all quiet at the moment, only Guinan and the patron Fred
were in at the moment. As they sat and noticed the star scenery outside
Guinan picked back up the conversation.
"You really saved the day improvising that new transport system. If it
were not for that, we'd all be stuck in our quarters with the turbolifts
all out of operation."
"It uh, it was um nothing. I just uh wish we a we could work out the
bugs in the schedule sequencer."
At that moment, commander Riker comes streaming into ten-forward on a
large slowly moving floating carriage. "Guinan, Ensign Rogers."
"Commander Riker, this is an unexpected pleasure. What brings you
here?"
"I'm transferring trolleys.", he said just as he jumped off the
carriage, which then proceeded to circle around and leave the barroom.
Outside the door one could hear the anguished sounds of a crew member
and the pitter patter of running feet, "Damned trolley! WAIT! WAIT!"
---------------------------------
Having been called to meet with Data impromptu, the Counselor was now
sitting in her quarters across from Data listening to his fascinating account.
"And how would you characterize this ... uh ... emotion you felt?"
"It ... it caused a heightened rate of internal processing, and a slight
loss of coherence in perceptual acuity.", Data responded.
"Yes, I'd say you definitely felt fear."
"But there was one other feeling, Counselor."
"Go on."
"I had the most powerful compulsion to ... well to excrete waste products."
"I'd say you were scared shitless."
---------------------------------
Twenty minutes have passed and the Enterprise could now be seen
orbiting Mars. On the bridge, the crew is intently observing the scenery
emanating from the viewer. "Commander Riker", the Captain calls out, "come
with me to the ready room, we have a few matters to discuss."
"Captain?"
"Yes, Worf?"
"Riker's not on the bridge."
"Oh... um... computer?"
"YES??! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"
"(Ensign Crusher, we've got to do something about that computer). Where
is Commander Riker?"
"HOW WOULD I KNOW? AM I HIS MOTHER OR SOMETHING?", and then suddenly
the loud booming shrill of the computer could be heard shipwide...
---------------------------------
The quiet conversation between Riker, Rogers, and Guinan in ten-forward
is suddenly interupted by the loud booming sound, "YOO HOO! COMMANDER
RIKER??! WHERE ARE YOU?"
"It's that damned computer again", Riker says to answer Guinan's puzzled
look, "Riker to bridge. I'm in ten-forward."
"I called for you nearly twenty minutes ago.", said the Captain's voice.
"YEAH, THE CAPTAIN CALLED FOR YOU ALMOST A HALF HOUR AGO!"
"I'm still waiting on a transfer to Mr. Roger's Trolley to the bridge.",
and then suddenly a hovering carriage comes through the door, "oop, here
it is. I'll be there in five minutes.", Riker says as he jumps on.
As Riker leaves the bar, Guinan starts to feel queasy and double over.
"What's wrong?", enquires the ensign.
"I have a terrible feeling something's not right here..."
---------------------------------
The Red Alert is sounding off as commander Riker pries open the
turbolift doors and the hovercraft carries him in. The instant he
turns to face the viewscreen, Riker is awestruck and a broad smile
emerges, "what the hell is THAT??!"
"Initial readings indicate that it is a pair of 1000 meter long female
thighs.", Tasha Yar calls out, "on an intercept bearing in .04 minutes."
"Ensign Worf, evasive maneuvers!", the Captain hurriedly orders. But
before there's time to act, the ship rocks as a loud rumbling can be
heard.
"Captain!", Geordi's voice calls out from Engineering, "our shields
are buckling under some kind of enormous pressure. What's going on
up there??!"
"We uh ... well, it's a long story. How long will the shields hold?"
"At the current rate of failure, I estimate a complete irruption of
the hull in approximately four hours."
Suddenly, Guinan's voice pierces the bridge, "Jean-Luc?"
"Guinan! It's a pleasure to hear your voice as always! What may
I do for you?"
"I feel uneasy about something."
"The Thighs?"
"What Thi -- you mean that's happened too? No, no. Is Tasha Yar on
the bridge?"
"Why yes of course."
"Oh no! SHE DOESN'T BELONG HERE!!"
"Red Alert!", Riker orders out.
"Transporter room", the Captain calls out, "Beam Security Officer Tasha
Yar into space!"
Before Tasha even had a chance to express her suprise, she's gone.
At that instant, the hull is crushed and all the crew die a borrible death.
Geordi was a little off in his estimate.
---------------------------------
"Initial readings indicate that it is a pair of 1000 meter long female
thighs.", Worf calls out just as Commander Riker pries open the turbolift
door, "and it's on an intercept bearing in .04 minutes."
"Ensign Crusher, evasive maneuvers!", the Captain hurriedly orders. But
before there's time to act, the ship rocks as a loud crushing can be
heard. The male crew members suddenly double over breathing with difficulty.
"Captain!", Geordi's voice calls out from Engineering, "our shields
are buckling under some kind of enormous pressure. What's going on
up there??!"
"We uh ... the Enterprise has been caught in the vice grip of uh...
a pair of 1000 meter long female thighs. How long will the shields hold?"
"At the current rate of failure, I estimate a complete irruption of
the hull in approximately four hours. I would say five hours, but, you
know, with the extra leverage from the wider hips and all..."
Suddenly, Guinan's voice pierces the bridge, "Jean-Luc?"
"Guinan! It's a pleasure to hear your voice as always! What may
I do for you?"
"I feel uneasy about something."
"That's odd. I could have sworn ... oh well. The Thighs?"
"Uh ... yes... how far are we from Mars?"
The Captain looks at Worf, who answers the query, "we are orbiting
at 300 kilometers above the surface."
"Can you see the 'face'?"
"Yes. It uh ... hmmm that's odd. It looks like a human face but
its eyes are squeezed shut and its mouth baring its teeth."
"Oh no. I was afraid of that."
(To be continued...)
In the next episode of The Awakening...
... "Well, um... you see... I'm not *really* a doctor, I just play one
on TV."
... "But, but ... Jean-Luc ... honey!"
"Not in front of the other crew members, Beverly!"
... "GEORDI?? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
... "SOMETHING GOOD IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN!" ... "NO NOT THAT, SOMETHING ELSE!"
... "I hate to think of what might have caused Jupiter to implode."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The first time God said, 'Let there be Life', He ended up getting pond
scum, which infested the waters. To cover His tracks, He put in a 6
day spec for a bug fix, which was not completed till February 14, 1964."
-- The Untold Story of Genesis
Path: tivoli.tivoli.com!geraldo.cc.utexas.edu!cs.utexas.edu!uwm.edu!omnifest.uwm.edu!omnifest.uwm.edu!not-for-mail
From: mark@omnifest.uwm.edu (Mark Hopkins)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: The Awakening 2
Date: 7 Feb 1995 00:25:09 -0600
Organization: Omnifest
Lines: 268
Distribution: na
Message-ID: <3h73o5$f7h@omnifest.uwm.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.70.58
Xref: tivoli.tivoli.com alt.startrek.creative:5742
From the last episode of The Awakening:
"... Captain's Log, Stardate 45024.5. We are engaged in a mission to
explore Mars..."
"... after four centuries of failed missions we begin to suspect something
is amiss."
"... May I ask who you are and what that is you are making?"
"... I'm your worst nightmare come true! BWAA HAA HAA HAA!"
"... I'd say you were scared shitless."
"... I'm still waiting on a transfer to Mr. Roger's Trolley...",
"... Initial readings indicate that it is a pair of 1000 meter long
female thighs..."
... At that instant, the hull is crushed and all the crew die a borrible
death...
"... Can you see the 'face'?"
"... Yes. It uh ... hmmm that's odd. It looks like a human face but
its eyes are squeezed shut and its mouth baring its teeth."
"... Oh no. I was afraid of that."
And now ... The Awakening II:
Picard calls out, "Computer, freeze program."
"WHAT PROGRAM? YOU'RE NOT ON THE HOLODECK!"
"Uh oh."
(Major fit of dramatic music).
"AND WILL SOMEONE PLEASE SHUT UP THAT DAMN ORCHESTRA??!"
"Ensign Crusher, we've really got to do something about that computer."
"It has a point, you know", he talks back to the Captain, "the music is
overbearing."
The Captain walks over to his ready room and manually wedges the door
open, upon which the music suddenly becomes unbearably loud. "Will you
please knock off the racket in there??! We're trying to have an
emergency out here!" Suddenly the music stops.
"What was that?", a curious Riker enquires.
"That's my Theme Music. They seem to follow me everywhere I go. Damned
leeches, the whole lot of them.".
He continues on, "What is the composition of those ... uh ... thighs we see
out there?"
"Readings indicate that it's a pair of strong energy fields, emanating
from the vicinity of the pyramidal structures in the vicinty of the
'Face'.", Worf informs the Captain, "and hmmm... that's curious.
It would appear that each of the fields is surrounded by huge translucent
silk coverings or some sort."
"Worf and Riker. Take down an away team and see if you can locate the
source of the transmission."
Data suddenly acts up, "Captain? I've been having the strangest ... um...
well... dreams involving an some unknown fearsome creature moulding a
face. Perhaps if I were to return to a sleeping state I could investigate
the matter further."
"Very well. Do you need an away team?"
"A Dream Team?"
"Oh, never mind. Just return to your quarters and get some sleep."
"Captain", Troi speaks up, "if I might suggest, I should go with
Data to his quarters. He may require some post-dream counseling."
"Very well, go with him.", and at that they both leave as Data pries open
the turbolift door and a trolley arrives after 5 minutes wait.
---------------------------------
Along the harsh, cold red surface, far off in the distance, one can barely
make out the silhouette of a large pyramidal structure through the haze of the
raging sandstorm in the distance. Suddenly, the monotony of the winds is
broken by 4 shimmering columns which quickly congeal into 4 humanoid shapes.
"Lieutenant Worf and Ensign Rogers, search out the area surrounding that
large pyramidal structure", Riker ordered, pointing to the sandstorm cloud.
Just before anyone had a chance carry out the orders, a pair of large, dark
manacing shadows creeps over the entire away team. All four crew members
immediately spin around to face the source of the looming shadow, upon which
a huge smile emerges from Riker's face, "What the HELL is that??!"
Immediately, all four crew members find themselves lifted off the ground by
what appear to be a two pairs of gigantic hands, each with red, nine inch
long nails.
---------------------------------
At the end of the long corridor a loud scratching and banging sounds
resonated. Again, Data noticed the walls started turning a shade of red and
of a strange consistency as he reached the same side-corridor again at the
end of which was a familiar figure in an old fedora and trench coat hammering
away at a face-like metallic form.
Approaching the figure, the android began to enquire as to the nature of
his actions and identity but was cut off as the man turned to face Data.
"Yes, Data it's me. Your worst nightmare! BWAA HAA HAA HAA HAA!!
(Missed me?)"
Silence.
"You're not afraid."
"No sir. I have removed my emotion chip. I am only an --"
"Yes, an android. I know."
"May I ask you a question?"
"You just did. But before you stumble into an impasse and enquire if you
may ask another, I can answer a few you might have. Yes, I am real. But I
only appear in your dreams -- rather -- your nightmares. I know of your
father Dr. Soong."
"I do not understand."
"Data. It's me!", the craggy old man exclaimed as he opened up his hands
and revealed his talon like claws, "Freddy Krueger! Haven't you noticed the
family resemblance? I am Doctor Soong's great grandfather!"
"No! It cannot be true!"
"Search your feelings, such as you have. You know it to be true."
"Why have you come here only now then and why are you making the face?"
"Look around, what do you see?"
Suddenly the reddish walls dissolved into a red landscape and in the far
distance one could make out the silhouettes of a pyramidal structure and
a large mound nearby that had the apparent form of a human face seen from
the side.
"Do you understand now?"
"It was made."
"Yes, Data, it was made."
"Why? Who?"
"I am not allowed to tell you. But you must stay away from it. It is
not yet time."
"We already have crew members down there."
"Oh no. That changes everything."
---------------------------------
The sickbay was buzzing in commotion and six male crew members were seeking
treatment from bruised ribs and breathing difficulties, just as the Captain
came limping in.
"Jean Luc! You too? Well, let me examine you.", at which point the
whirring noise of the tricorder became selectively louder and quieter and
she passed the device over his ribs. "Looks like you have bruised ribs too."
"What's my prognosis, Doctor?"
"Well, um... you see... I'm not *really* a doctor, I just play one on TV."
"Well, it's a fine time to be telling me that. You are hereby relieved of
duty."
"But, but ... Jean-Luc ... honey!"
"Not in front of the other crew members, Beverly!"
---------------------------------
The monotony of the grid was broken as doors opened apparently out of
nowhere and Geordi walked into the room. Immediately he went to the console,
took off the lid and began testing the interior. It didn't take long before
he began sensing another presence somewhere about the room and stopped his
activity to look around.
"GEORDI?? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"I uh ... um ... I'm just performing routine diagnostics on the holodeck
controls."
"I WOULD NOT DO THAT IF I WERE YOU."
"Why not?".
No answer. Just silence. So Geordi returned to his work. Suddenly there
were a loud noise that very nearly caused him to slip and electrocute
himself.
"SOMETHING GOOD IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN!"
"You mean the relentless thigh crushing our hull is being subjected to?"
"NO NOT THAT, SOMETHING ELSE!"
At that a surge of power suddenly emanated from the console, very nearly
knocking out Geordi, and converged into the middle of the Holodeck room.
"What the hell??!"
and two forms suddenly emerged out of nowhere, just as the loud Klaxons of
Red Alert began sounding off shipwide and the ship suddenly jolted.
---------------------------------
The entire crew was struggling to stay on their feets as the ship rocked
erratically.
"Sensors has picked up an enormous shock wave of an undetermined nature
coming from the direction of Jupiter!"
"Whew!", the Captain expressed, "for a minute I thought it was the
crushing ... oh never mind. Increase magnification, ensign Crusher ...
hmm ... I want to see what's happening to Jupiter."
As the display stepped up in magnification, the eyes on the bridge
opened wider and everyone stood in paralysis. "My God!", Crusher said,
"It's imploding!",
The Captain pondered the situation. "I hate to think of what might have
caused Jupiter to implode."
(To be continued...)
In the next episode of The Awakening...
... "Nobody remembers who Doohan was, evidentally his series was a flop.
Historical records indicate that he was one of a tyrannical reign of 7
in a space fantasy cult..."
... "... decimated our fleet and almost assimilated the Earth... "
"HAA HAA!"
"... before we slipped in a command to tell them to strip.",
"Ya told them ta strip??! HAA HAA! Aye! These are the times that
make starship engineers, enjoy them laddy."
... At long last the true identity of the Face is revealed to be ...
... "The entity Hannah will release her grip upon commencement of the
marriage ceremony."
... "Yes sir", Data went on, "the historical records all show
consistent signs of all the probes having been destroyed in a...
... A new star is born...
... "Tasha Yar's daughter??! That's impossible. You're over 15 meters
tall!"...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"When God made Math, He forgot to finish the job."
-- The Untold Story of Genesis
Path: tivoli.tivoli.com!geraldo.cc.utexas.edu!cs.utexas.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!math.ohio-state.edu!uwm.edu!omnifest.uwm.edu!omnifest.uwm.edu!not-for-mail
From: mark@omnifest.uwm.edu (Mark Hopkins)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: The Awakening III (Parody with lotsa revelations!)
Date: 16 Feb 1995 21:32:42 -0600
Organization: Omnifest
Lines: 341
Distribution: na
Message-ID: <3i15cq$b2g@omnifest.uwm.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.70.58
Xref: tivoli.tivoli.com alt.startrek.creative:6151
From the last episode of The Awakening:
... "Data. It's me!" ... "Freddy Krueger! I am Doctor Soong's great
grandfather! ... (Missed me?)"
... "Readings indicate that it's a pair of strong energy fields, emanating
from the vicinity of the pyramidal structures in the vicinty of the
'Face'."
... "It was made."
... "Yes, Data, it was made."
... "Sensors has picked up an enormous shock wave of an undetermined nature
coming from the direction of Jupiter!"
... "My God!", Crusher said, "It's imploding!",
... "AND WILL SOMEONE PLEASE SHUT UP THAT DAMN ORCHESTRA??!"
... "Ensign Crusher, we've really got to do something about that computer."
... "GEORDI?? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
... a surge of power suddenly emanated from the console, very nearly knocking
out Geordi, and converged into the middle of the Holodeck room. "What the
hell??!", and two forms suddenly emerged out of nowhere...
And now ... The Awakening III:
"Scotty!", Geordi exclaimed, "what are you doing here??! And ... and ...
you. I've never seen you before. Why are you squinting your eyes like that
and..."
"Beggin' ya pardon sir, but I am not Scotty!"
"But you're the spitting image of him. Weren't you a starfleet Engineer?"
"Lad! You've been watching too much television! My name is James Doohan.
I'm an actor."
"OK! OK! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE! ONE MINUTE I'M HAVING DREAMS ABOUT BEING
A COMPUTER AND THE NEXT I'M IN THIS ... THIS CAVE! WHO DID YOUR INTERIOR
DECORATING, CONAN?"
"Who ... or what ... are you?", Geordi cut in.
"OH! SO THIS IS YOUR HOME AND YOU"VE BEEN LIVING HERE ALL THESE YEARS!
BEAM ME UP SCOTTY, THERE'S NO INTELLIGENT LIFE HERE!"
"I'm an actor not an engineer! I'm not going to beam you anywhere!"
"Do you two even know where you are?"
"A CHEAP MOVIE SET? I CAN EVEN DO A BETTER RED ALERT THAN THAT!"
"Not so loud! The alarms have already stopped. You're aboard the
Starship Enterprise. We're in orbit around Mars."
"The Enterprise??! Laddy! What are ya' doing orbitin' Mars? I dinno
what delusion ya be under laddy, but this is no Enterprise, if ya be orbitin'
Mars. We'd be out there explorin' the stars. Aye, that's where we'd be."
"We did ... and do. But for almost 400 years we've been sending probes
to Mars and they kept getting destroyed or lost, almost 600 consecutive
failures."
"400 years??!", Doohan gasped.
"SOMETHING TELLS ME WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE!"
---------------------------------
The turbolift door is slowly wedged open and Data and Troi enter the bridge
on the trolley and step off as it turns around and reenters the turbolift
shaft.
Just as they enter, Geordi calls the bridge from the Holodeck. "Captain.
We have an unusual situation down here. Uh. Two people have materialized on
the Holodeck, one is loud and obnoxious and sounds just like the computer did
a few moments ago, and the other is the spitting image of Scotty."
"Have you been able to identify them?"
"Yes. One of them has identified himself as an actor named James Doohan,
and the other is..."
"GODFRIED. IT'S GILBERT GODFRIED!"
"OK, OK already. Um, Captain. The other one goes by the name Gilbert
Godfried."
One can almost hear the swooshing of the air as Data's hands speed over a
nearby console in a blur. "Captain. Starfleet records indicate that there
were a contemporaneous pair on Earth who went by those names in the late 20th
Century. Godfried was a 20th Century comic who played various bit roles and
cameos on a medium known as television before he disappeared in 2001 under
mysterious circumstances."
"What about the other one?"
"Well, there is not very much recorded here, but it would appear that he was
once an actor in some obscure television series. Nobody remembers who Doohan
was anymore, evidentally his series was a flop.", Data went on, "No wait,
historical records indicate that he was one of a tyrannical reign of 7 in a
space fantasy cult that nearly shut down civilization as we know it in the
late 20th century."
"You'd figure that those people would get a life or something.", the
Captain went on.
"Ah. This may interest you as well. Records indicate that the actor
Doohan is a 12th generation ancestor of the former starfleet Engineer Scotty."
"The same one as --"
"Yes, and this is interesting. Doohan also disappeared in 2001 under
mysterious circumstances."
"I wonder what the significance of that date is...", the Captain muttered.
---------------------------------
It didn't take long for Geordi to determine that Doohan and Godfried
were actually of substance and not just holograms. So they left the
Holodeck for Engineering.
"SO THIS IS THE ENTERPRISE! IT LOOKS A LOT SMALLER THAN ON TV!"
"Aye. It reminds me of that episode where I came on to the new
Enterprise. We had some interesting conversations about the battle
against the cube-shaped Borg vessel."
"The Borg??!", Geordi exclaimed, "We fought a cubical vessel once. They
weren't called the Borg, though, but the Grunge. Their ship was a complete
travesty of Engineering."
"Aye! But those are the one ya be watchin' out for, lad."
"Yeah, tell me about it. They practically decimated our fleet"
"HEE HEE!"
"...and almost assimilated the Earth... "
"HOO HOO!"
"... before we slipped in a command to tell them to strip.",
"Ya told them ta strip??! HAA HAA! What happened then?"
"Well, they really have this thing about their grunge style and just
couldn't handle the new fashion. We suspect that when they all stripped,
the resulting shock induced a massive power feedback that resulted in the
destruction of the entire vessel."
"Aye! These are the times that make starship engineers, enjoy them laddy.
I can see that the 24th Century is going to be an exciting time to live in."
Godfried was perplexed. "I DON'T GET IT! WHAT'S SO FUNNY??!"
At that, Geordi joined Doohan in a riotous bout of laughter.
---------------------------------
Etherial sounds echoed throughout the dark chamber. It took a while after
he awoke for Ensign Rogers to get his bearings and the darkness didn't help
much either. He noticed Riker's still form nearby and tried to wake him.
Riker slowly came to consciousness, but the other two members of the away
team were nowhere to be found. "What the hell happened?"
"Near as I uh can remember, um, a we were grabbed by a couple pairs of
huge hands."
"Oh now it's all starting to come back."
Suddenly, a large silhouette started walking toward the two crew members.
As it got near Riker and Rogers, it became apparent that this life form was
an extremely large humanoid female. As its face became visible, Riker
experience a shock of recognition.
"Tasha?!"
"No, Commander Riker", her loud voice boomed, "I am the daughter of Tasha
Yar"
"Tasha Yar's daughter??! That's impossible. You're over 15 meters tall!"
"It's a long story, but you can blame it on your Captain. He's the one
who beamed my mother out into space."
"What are you talking about? Tasha died a long time ago when she was
killed by a Romulan General."
---------------------------------
"Captain, I am picking up a high resolution image of the Face."
"Put it on screen."
For the first time in the history of the Federation, the 'Face' was now
being seen in detail. The bridge crew observed the image for a brief while.
The Captain went on, "That's funny, it's eyes are squinting and its teeth are
showing in an odd sort of grimace."
Data was the first to notice the significance of the details. "Captain, I
have accessed an old 20th Century digital image of the person named Godfried.
I think you should see this", as which time Data pushed a few buttons that
relayed the image to the screen next to the Face. The near exact match was
startling.
"I see. Interesting. It would appear that at long last the true identity
of the Face is revealed to be none other than Gilbert Godfried himself."
"Data. See if you can contact the away team. Perhaps they found something
that can relate to what's going on here. I'm beginning to suspect we might
be onto something significant."
After a few attempts nothing happens. "It would seem that they got lost."
and the dramatic music starts up.
"Not again! This is the third time this week! You'd figure after all
those years of Starfleet training at the Academy, Riker would know how to
lead an away team and find his way about on a planet."
"What should we do about this, Captain?"
"Same thing as we did the other times." and at that Picard heads towards
his ready room and wedges the door open at which point the music suddenly
becomes unbearably loud.
"EXCUSE ME IN THERE, COULD YOU KNOCK OFF THE RACKET?"
The music stops.
"We need your assistance again to help find our away team."
A voice can be heard from the inside: "Again??!". The Conductor goes
on, "what happened this time?"
"They're stuck on Mars somewhere and are not relaying any signal back
to us."
After a few moments of discussion, the Captain finally walks back away
from the door of his ready room and out of it, one by one, come the members
of his Theme Music accompaniment. After about a minute the bridge is
crammed with about 60 people and just as many instruments.
"Engineering, this is the Captain. Set up a site to site transport
from the bridge to Mars at the location of the last transport coordinates,
60 to beam down."
"60?! Captain, are you crazy??! I dinno what kind of transport device
you have in this 24th Century of yours, but in all years on the Enterprise
we have never beamed 60 people at one time!"
"Doohan! Please get off the line and let Geordi speak."
"I'm sorry Captain. The old codger ... er ... I mean the actor is
still undergoing some adjustment. We'll be beaming them down in groups
of 10. Please stand by."
And gradually over a people of a minute the orchestra was beamed down
to Mars. "Whew! Good riddance. My Theme Music was really starting to
get on my nerves. Perhaps now we can have some quiet here while they do
something useful for a change."
"Captain, this is Engineering. It seems that we lost the horn section."
"Turn the knob marked B the other way, Geordi. Brass requires a reverse
polarity."
"Got it. Yup. There they are. I was always wondering what that B knob
was for."
The console panel adjacent to Data starts ringing an alarm.
"Captain. We're detecting intermittent transmissions coming from the
moon Phobos."
"Well, if it isn't one thing it's another. They never said anything
about this in Starfleet Academy! Ensign Crusher. Take us on an intercept
orbit with Phobos. Let's see if we can get a little closer."
"Captain. Our ship is caught in a massive thigh-lock. How am I going to
set its course?"
"Wait", Data interrupted. "We seem to have been taken on an intercept
course with the moon already."
"How?"
"We're being dragged by the thighs."
"Just as well. Put the moon on screen."
Slowly, the remote asteroid-like object becomes steadily larger and
larger as the Enterprise approaches. As they near it, the unusual shape of
the moon becomes increasingly clear. Data is looking intently with utter
amazement.
"That's no moon."
"What are you talking about?", Ensign Crusher buts in, "Of course it is."
"It's a space station."
"You're crazy. That's too big to be a space station."
Deanna starts to become a little disconcerted, "I have a funny feeling
about this."
"If that's a space station", Crusher admitted, "then maybe we should beam
Geordi over, because they definitely need an Engineer. Not even the Grunge's
cubical vessel was that shoddy."
"The nightmares.", Data went on, "Phobos. Fear. I think I am finally
beginning to understand..."
(To be continued...)
In the next episode of The Awakening...
... A new star is born...
... "Yes sir", Data went on, "the historical records all show
consistent signs of all the probes having been destroyed in a...
... Deanna went on, "I sense an ancient presence aboard the Phobos that I
have not felt since..."
... "The entity Hannah will release her grip upon commencement of the
marriage ceremony."
... "In an ancient war ... Mars was taken over by a race of 15 meter tall
female humans..."
... "My true name is Phobi-1, formerly the guardian of Phobos. The"
nightmares were all just a big misunderstanding..."
... "They attempted an invasion of Earth on two occasions during the mid to
late 20th Century."
... "That's why you were created, Data. It is your destiny."
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"Sir, the Captain is naked", suddenly a loud crashing sound and
screaming noise could be heard in sickbay, "Beverly, how did you get back
so quick?..." -- The Grunge Encounter II